Coming Home
by Caera1996
Summary: Summary: For Leonard, Christmas means family. To Jim…not so much. Until Leonard decided to see what he can do about that. Notes: So, I'm nearly a whole freaking month late, but here it is. This story is a late Christmas present for justjanedoe. And I'm so sorry to the space wrapped community and mods for my slow going!


_"Jim?"_

Jim tapped his comm at his workdesk. "I'm here, Bones," he replied, eyes on the PADD he was reading. "What's up?"

_"I'm nearly done here. How about you?"_ Leonard asked, as he engaged the lock on his office door.

"Ready to go," Jim said. He put his PADD down and stretched, looking around the quarters they'd shared for the last couple of years. Everything was neat and put away, and two packed bags waited on the bed. Jim stood and headed to his bookcase to pick out a couple favorites to bring with him. "You want to meet me at the transporter?"

_"No, I'm heading down to you now. See you in a minute,"_ Leonard replied.

"Okay," Jim said, turning to add his selections to his bag. He spent the few minutes it took for Bones to join him going over the agenda for the minor repairs and refits the Enterprise would undergo while in dock. In a stroke of unbelievable luck, they managed to schedule this stop to happen over the Christmas holidays. Almost all of the Enterprise crew would be going to Earth or other nearby places to spend some time with family and friends over the week, and Bones had talked Jim into doing it too.

He'd been reluctant to go…he actually had been looking forward to overseeing the work done on the Enterprise…and the holiday didn't really mean anything to Jim. Apparently, though, it was a big deal to Leonard's family.

Jim heard the door open and Bones enter. "Bones…" Jim said, turning to him, and deciding to give it one more try. "I would be perfectly fine with you going to visit your family. We don't have to be together this week."

The smile that had been on Leonard's face slipped away. "You don't want to go?" he asked.

"Well…it's not that I don't want to go. I love your mom and it's been what? A year since we've seen your family? It's just that, I know this week is important to you and them in a way that it just isn't to me, and the Enterprise…"

Leonard shook his head, and stepped into Jim's space, drawing him into a hug.

"I know it's not a big deal to you. I know you'd rather stay here. And if that's what you really want, then I'll stay with you. You came to Georgia with me the last time we were here, I wouldn't want to make you feel like you have to spend every leave with that bunch. But you've spent too many Christmases alone, Jim, and now that I have you, I'm not letting that happen again."

Jim smiled against Bones' shoulder. Everything about what he'd just said resonated with him. He _was_ used to being alone during times that most people were with family and friends. The fact that Bones would give that up for himself to be with him – if he asked – touched him deeply. Jim wouldn't have thought it possible, but Bones had changed him. He used to think his ship was the shining beacon of his life – that this life of exploration was everything he wanted. He'd been wrong.

Bones was. He was everything. And even if Jim didn't celebrate in a traditional way, the idea of taking a few days to be together – to remind yourself to be grateful that you _can_ be together – well, he could get behind that.

"I love you," Jim said.

Bones smiled and pulled back to kiss him. "I love you too," he replied.

"Thank you for reminding me about what's really important. I'm all set to go."

"Yeah?" Bones asked, squeezing Jim's arm affectionately. "What changed your mind?"

"You did," Jim said simply. He turned and picked up his bag, and Leonard did the same. He was happy – and relieved – that Jim was coming with him. He hoped Jim felt the same way later on.

Changed out of their uniforms and into regular clothes, together they headed to the transporter room. Unlike their last trip here, there was no reason for them to first go to Starfleet Administration, so they were able to beam in to a transportation hub a lot closer to the McCoy homestead, which was great as it was fairly late.

When they materialized, Jim put a gentle hand on Leonard's shoulder, giving him a moment to steady himself on his feet. All these years later, and the damn things still made him feel dizzy.

"You good?" Jim asked, hoisting his bag up on his shoulder.

"Yeah." Leonard took a second to shrug into his jacket, eyeing Jim speculatively. "You're gonna be cold."

Jim snorted, shaking his head with a smile. It was - _maybe_ - 12C. Not exactly freezing by Iowan standards, but apparently pretty cold in Georgia. "I'm fine in this," he said, indicating his sweater. They headed towards the public area, Leonard grumbling about idiots who get sick over the holidays.

"I don't know who's picking us up," Leonard said, as he looked around.

More tired than he wanted to admit, Jim hid a yawn. "Well, we can get a transport -"

"Leo!" a voice called. Leonard spotted Bill, one of his cousins, and waved.

"Your ma wanted to come," Bill said as he and Leonard hugged. "But she also wanted to be in charge of the kitchen."

Leonard laughed as Jim shook Bill's hand. "Beat out by the kitchen," he said. "Good to know where I stand."

"It's good to see you again, Jim," Bill said. "You keepin' him in line?"

Leonard snorted and Jim chuckled. "Something like that," Jim said, throwing Leonard a wink.

Bill led them to his transport for the short drive, and he filled Leonard in on everything that was happening with the family. Jim was content to sit and listen, the quiet conversation and gentle movement of the transport lulling.

Leonard turned to look over his shoulder when Jim failed to respond to a question from Bill, and a soft smile touched his lips. Jim had nodded off, head resting against the window, arms crossed loosely over his chest. Bill looked over at his cousin and saw the unguarded and open expression on his face and in his eyes.

"You really love him, huh?" Bill asked.

Leonard turned back in his seat and focused his attention on Bill.

"More'n I ever thought I'd love anyone," he answered honestly.

"And I know he loves you," Bill said. "I've seen the way he looks at you. It's great that you have each other when you're up there. We all like knowing you're not alone."

Silently, Leonard agreed.

When they arrived at the McCoy homestead, Bill went on inside and Leonard gently shook Jim awake, smiling as blue eyes blinked open.

"Oh, sorry…must've fallen asleep," Jim said, sitting up and stretching.

"You did, Darlin' – you must be tired. Let's go in and say hi, and then just turn in, okay?"

"We don't have to – I'm okay," Jim said, rubbing his eyes as he sat up and let himself out of the car. "Don't you want to visit with everyone for a while?"

"Nah, I'm tired too, and there's a good bet that most of the family staying here are already in bed."

"Okay," Jim said, happy to follow Leonard's lead. "Aren't we going to bring in our bags?"

"Nope…my room has been appropriated. We've got the barn to ourselves this time," Leonard said.

"Really?" Jim said, looking over at the beautifully maintained and warmly-lit barn across the property. "Up in the loft? I've got some good memories associated with that loft," he said with a wink.

"Me too, Darlin'," Leonard replied with a smile. Jim stepped out of the car into the chill of the night, a shiver catching him unaware. "C'mon," Leonard said. "Let's get inside."

They headed up the stairs to the porch and front door, Jim a step or two behind Leonard, feeling a little bashful. They talked often, but this was only the second time he'd met Leonard's mom and family in person. Eleanor McCoy was very warm and welcoming, embracing Jim and bringing him into the family fold, but he wasn't used to that kind of attention. He wasn't used to being…wanted…for who he was outside of his famous name and persona. Leonard knew this…knew Jim as well as he knew himself…and he reached a hand back, catching and holding Jim's in his own warm grip as they made their way into the kitchen. Jim inhaled deeply, the warmth and scents of the brightly decorated home flooding Jim's senses.

"Boys!" Eleanor exclaimed. "I am so glad you're home!" She embraced Leonard and Jim, holding them tightly and planting kisses on their cheeks. Leonard bore her attentions with patience and familiarity. Jim, to Leonard's amusement, was pink-faced. They visited for a few minutes, and in that time, Eleanor packed them a bag full of snacks and drinks to take to the barn with them.

"Ma, this isn't really necessary," Leonard said. "We're just going to sleep."

"Nonsense," she replied. "If you two are going to sleep out there, I'm going to make certain you have everything you need. Now, it's cold tonight, so I had the kids bring up some extra pillows and blankets, and there's a portable heater, too. Honestly, Leonard. Why you wanted…"

"Thank you, Ma," Leonard said quickly, cutting her off and taking the bag. He leaned down to kiss and hug her. "We'll be back over here in the morning to help with breakfast."

"Don't you worry about that," she said. She hugged Jim and looped her arm through his as she walked them to the door. "You both look like you need to sleep for a week. You come on back here whenever you wake up."

She followed them to the door, wrapping her robe around her more tightly against the cold breeze that swirled the leaves in the yard.

Jim turned to her, a shy smile on his face. "Thanks for having me for the holiday," he said. "I – uh – we were never really big on celebrating and…"

"Jim, dear," she said, putting a hand over his. "You are always welcome here. Always." She hugged him again, and gave Leonard a significant look over Jim's shoulder.

" 'Night Ma. See you in the mornin'," Leonard said.

"Goodnight Son. Goodnight Jim."

She watched from the open door as they stopped by the transport and pulled their bags out, then head towards the barn. She crossed her arms over herself and sincerely hoped that Leonard hadn't miscalculated on this one.

Leonard led Jim across the wide lawn and down the tightly-packed dirt road. The wind seemed to drop the temperature, and it was a relief to step into the barn. Leonard closed and secured the door behind them and stopped to greet the two horses who stood in their stalls, murmuring to them as they chuffed in recognition. He turned off all but one line of lights, darkening the bottom section of the barn. Jim could see that lights were still on in the loft, providing enough illumination to make it easy to climb the ladder.

To Jim's amusement, Leonard insisted that he go first. "Last thing I need is to you go fallin' on your fool head."

"Bones, I grew up on a farm too," he said. "Probably climbed more things than you did."

"Humor me, kid," he replied, gesturing to the ladder. Jim just chuckled and shook his head, and climbed the ladder first. Jim waited for him at the top, taking Leonard's bag and then the bag his mother packed from him when he reached the top so that he could more easily come through the opening. Jim turned to look at the space while Bones brought up the ladder.

"Hey, what do we do if we have to use the bathroom?" Jim asked.

"We use the bathroom," he replied, gesturing to an enclosed space in a corner on the other side of the loft. "One of my cousins installed it. Very rudimentary, but better'n having to go outside."

"Nice," Jim said. He stretched, and Leonard watched appreciatively as his shirts rode up, exposing a strip of skin at his belly. He let himself fall back on the futon that was already made up for them, the extra pillows and blankets Eleanor had promised making it very cozy. "Mmm…I feel like I could sleep for a week."

And this was one reason Leonard had really wanted Jim to come with him. Jim worked too hard, all the time. He was always "on". If Leonard had left him on the Enterprise, he would've worked the whole time. If Leonard had stayed with him he would've been able to distract him for a while, but Jim wouldn't be able to resist the pull of the Enterprise. Here, though, he would just relax and sink in to the holiday festivities.

They spent the next few minutes situating themselves, bringing the futon over to the wall so they could prop pillows up and use the wall as a headboard. Jim stripped, unconcerned by the chill in the air and he smirked as Leonard struggled to change while staying under a blanket.

"You want me to turn on the heater?" Jim asked.

Leonard shook his head. "Nah, I'll be warm enough once you're under here with me."

Jim smiled. "Sounds good to me." He opened the bag Eleanor had packed for them and looked through the various snacks she'd given them. "It was really nice of your mom to pack this for us." He looked over at Leonard. "Want anything?"

Leonard shook his head. "Just you," he said, eyes intense.

Unable to resist that look, Jim abandoned the bag and moved on to the bed, crawling over Leonard's body to lay beside him, snuggling down into the blankets that Leonard drew up around them. They lay on their sides, facing each other and Leonard wrapped an arm around Jim, holding him close.

"I'm so glad you're here."

They kissed and Jim moved a leg in between Leonard's as he slid an arm around his torso.

"I'm glad I'm here too," Jim replied. "Your mom is so gracious."

Leonard grinned, "Well, she likes you. By the way, you're adorable when you're shy."

Despite himself, Jim flushed and rolled his eyes as Bones' grin widened. "Shut up - I am not shy," he said, giving Leonard's hair a gentle tug. "I just – I'm not used to that kind of attention."

And the truth of that pulled at Leonard's heart as he looked into Jim's blue eyes until he looked away with a sigh.

"I'm glad I'm here, but…"

"You miss your family," Leonard said gently. He knew the holidays had always been a touchy subject for Jim.

"I was such a screw-up for so long. Mom tried so hard, and Sam just got to the point where he didn't want to deal with me anymore. And when I was a stupid kid I blamed them for pulling away from me. And now…I just feel like it's too late."

"It's never too late," Leonard said. "You taught me that, you know. I thought it was too late for _me_. You showed me how untrue that was." _Now it's my turn,_ he added silently.

Jim smiled and kissed him, bringing a hand up to stroke his face. "As long as I have you, I have everything I need."

They lay wrapped around each other, the blankets and their own warmth keeping the chill at bay. Tired and comfortable, warm and cozy, they drifted off to sleep to the sound of the wind.

Hours later, Jim woke. He carefully rolled away from Bones and stretched, the cold air rushing in around him. He made sure Bones was covered up well, then he made his way across the loft to try out the head. Everything seemed to work as it was supposed to, for which Jim was extremely grateful.

Hurrying back to the bed, Bones woke enough to lift the blankets for him, welcoming him back into the warmth. Jim turned around so his back was to Bones' front and he sighed happily as he wrapped an arm around his middle, holding him tightly.

"Mmm…good mornin' Darlin'," Leonard murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Jim's neck. "Sleep well?"

"Like a rock," Jim said. "Sleeping up here was the best idea ever."

"Definitely a lot more privacy," Bones said.

Jim pressed himself back against Bones and linked their hands together. "We should definitely take advantage of that privacy. Be a shame to waste it."

Leonard smiled. "It would, Darlin', but we need to talk about something first."

Surprised at Bones' serious tone, Jim turned over so that he could see him. "What's up?" he asked.

Although he was sure that this was the right thing to do, and that everything would work out well, Leonard felt nervous about telling him. He had to, though. He didn't want to let Jim be surprised about the situation.

"Bones, seriously…you're starting to worry me. Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. Okay…" He sat up and leaned against the pillows against the wall. Jim followed suit, drawing the blankets up around them. "So…I know how much you miss your family, and I know that it's been a while since you've seen them. I also know you don't think you can fix what's happened. And you're right, in that you can't redo the past. But Jim, the past is over, and you're a different person now…."

"Bones-" Jim said as he started to suspect where this was going.

"…and your family loves you. They miss you, too."

"They're coming here, aren't they?"

"Well…yes."

Jim closed his eyes and let himself lean back against the pillows.

"Does you mom know?"

"Yes…she helped me arrange it." He studied Jim's profile for a moment. "Are you angry?"

Jim thought about it for a second, trying to catalogue the emotions swirling through him. "No," he said finally. "I actually think you're amazing for thinking of me like this, and going to all this trouble, but…"

"But what, Jim? Your mother was thrilled at the idea of seeing you for Christmas, and so was Sam. Yes, you were difficult when you were younger, but you were still _theirs_."

Jim sighed and leaned against him. "When are they coming?"

Bones smiled, threading their fingers together and holding him. "Later this afternoon. And we'll just see how it goes. If everyone is comfortable, they're welcome to stay here. If anyone would prefer, we arranged for lodging in a hotel just a few minutes' drive away. Okay?"

"Okay."

They sat together quietly for a little while, Leonard rubbing his thumb comfortingly over Jim's hand. After a few minutes, Jim stirred and turned to kiss him, holding him tenderly. "Thanks for arranging this. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I appreciate you going to the trouble of arranging it."

"I want you to be happy, and you should have this, Jim," Leonard said seriously. "Everyone deserves to have the love of their family. Especially at this time of year."

"I love you for thinking of me like that," Jim said sincerely. Leonard didn't know what to say to that, but Jim kissed him again and a response wasn't necessary. "So," Jim continued, voice lighter as he gave Leonard a suggestive look. "Want to take advantage of our privacy?"

Leonard grinned. "Definitely Darlin'."

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"How do I look?" Jim asked as he tugged on his shirt.

Leonard smiled gently. "You look great," he said. "There's no reason to be nervous, Jim. Your family will be so happy to see you."

"I'm not nervous," Jim said quickly, automatically denying his feelings about the situation.

"All right," Leonard replied mildly, turning away with a smirk.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm a little nervous. I just don't want them to be disappointed."

"I know, Darlin'," he said, drawing Jim into a hug. "Trust me, though…they were so happy to be coming here today. There's no way they'll be disappointed. You turned out pretty good."

Jim gently pulled away. "I'm just afraid that whatever I am now isn't enough to make up for what I was."

Leonard knew Jim had some deep insecurities, but hearing them stated so blandly made his heart hurt.

"When are they supposed to get here?" he asked.

"They should be here any time," Leonard replied. "Would you like some time alone with them at first?"

Jim thought about that for a moment. He had no idea what to expect from his mom and brother. They were coming here because they wanted to, though, so he knew he probably didn't have anything to worry about.

_So why the hell am I so nervous?_

"Yeah…that would be good. But…I want you there too."

"Sure Darlin'."

They went down to the kitchen to help Eleanor and keep Jim busy. He was aware that having him in her kitchen was probably more of a hindrance, but both of them knew he needed the distraction.

Jim was busy peeling and coring apples when a transport pulled up in front of the house.

"They're here," Leonard said quietly, gently nudging Jim with his shoulder. He watched as Jim looked up, eyes going to the viewscreen that was showing the front of the house.

"Son, go welcome our guests, will you?" Eleanor said, hands covered with flour as she kneaded dough.

"Okay, Ma," Leonard said. "Jim, do you…" He trailed off as he watched Jim hurry out of the kitchen, the sound of him running up the stairs coming to him.

"Poor thing," Eleanor said. "He's tied himself into knots over this, and there isn't any reason to."

"_We_ know that," Leonard said as he dried his hands. "Jim doesn't quite believe it yet. But he will."

Leonard hurried out of the kitchen to the front door to meet Winona and Sam Kirk. He was struck by how much of Jim he could see in his mother's features, and how much Jim and Sam looked alike.

"Hello, Leonard," Winona Kirk said. "It's good to finally see you in person."

"Likewise," Leonard replied, shaking first Winona's hand, and then Sam's.

"Thanks for setting this up for us," Winona said. She looked over Leonard's shoulder towards the house. "Is Jim…does he know we're coming?"

Leonard smiled gently. "Yes, and he was excited to see you."

"So why is he hiding inside?" Sam asked, her brow arched.

Leonard decided to keep Jim's private admission private. "He was doing something for my mom. I don't think he knows you're here. Let me take your bag, and come on in."

He led them through the quiet house to the den, grateful that his mom had the foresight to arrange an outing for all the cousins and various relatives staying at the house for the holiday. Jim and his family needed some privacy.

"Can I get ya'll anything?" Leonard asked.

"No thank you," Winona replied. "Just Jim…I haven't seen my son for too many years." She clasped her hands in front of her tightly.

"Not your fault, Mom," Sam murmured quietly, putting a supportive arm around her.

"I'll put your bags in your room and send Jim in," Leonard said. "Make yourselves comfortable."

"Thanks," Sam said.

Leonard headed up the stairs and deposited the bags in the rooms they would be staying in, if all went well. Which, so far, he wasn't sure it would. It certainly wasn't off to a great start. He found Jim standing outside the room his mother used for her knitting and crafts on an attached balcony overlooking the peach orchard.

Leonard stepped out on to the balcony with him, and without saying anything just wrapped his arm around him, drawing him close. Jim was stiff for a moment, embarrassed at his behavior but unable to help the way felt. Leonard ignored it, though, just waiting him out. He was familiar with Jim's habit of trying to pull away when he was uncomfortable about something. Soon enough, Jim relaxed against him with a sigh, even as he kept his eyes averted.

"They want to see you," Leonard said quietly. "They're excited to."

"It's just…I was such a disappointment for so long…and neither of them deserved that. Especially not my mom. I – I'm ashamed."

Bones pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "You're not that kid anymore, Jim. If they didn't want to have you in their lives, they wouldn't be here."

"I know you're right," he said quietly. He stood there for another few moments, and Leonard just held him, not willing to push Jim before he was ready.

"Okay," Jim finally said. "I guess I'm ready."

"Everything will be fine," Leonard said. "I'll just be in the kitchen."

"What? Why? No…come in with me," Jim said. "Please."

"If you want me there, I'm there," Leonard replied, taking his hand. He gently pulled to get Jim moving, and together they headed back into the room and then down the stairs.

Jim paused again just outside of the den, then took a deep breath and entered, Leonard right behind him.

Winona was sitting on the edge of one of the couches, Sam near her, and when Jim entered she stood, eyes on his face and wearing an expression Jim couldn't read. His eyes flicked from his mother to his brother and he licked his lips nervously.

"Uh…h-hi, Mom," he said. And then Winona was crossing the room, arms open and tears standing in her eyes.

"Jim!" And then for the first time in years, he was being held by his mother. She wrapped her arms around him, and tears fell down her cheeks. Jim was stiff with surprise, but for just a moment, then he was hugging her back. He held her as tightly as he was being held, and he bent to press his face to her shoulder.

"M-mom," he said brokenly. "I…I'm so sorry."

"Shh…no, no," she murmured. "I've never stopped loving you."

And with that, all of Jim's uncertainty about this reunion was gone…and the one thing that he'd been the most afraid of was gone. He couldn't imagine how she'd loved him after everything he'd put her through, but it meant more to him that he ever dared admit to anyone.

She still loved him…..it was like finally coming home.

Even though Jim had asked him to be there, Leonard felt as if he were intruding on a very private moment, and when he met Sam's eyes and saw the tears he was trying to keep in check, he decided to give them privacy.

As Winona opened her embrace to include Sam, Leonard backed out of the room quietly, tears standing in his eyes.

Closing the door behind him, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and turned to see his own mother standing there, arms crossed over her chest.

"Think you got this one right, Son," she said.

Smiling, Leonard nodded happily. "Yeah."


End file.
